We must stop trying to hide our sins from God, for He sees and knows all.
We must expose our sins, and how do we do that?
We expose our sins by being open with The King.
We must be open with God about our struggles, about our challenges, about our addictions for He alone heals and delivers.
The Lord took me to this scripture today.
I know Ephraim, And Israel is not hidden from Me; For now, O Ephraim, you commit harlotry; Israel is defiled. Hosea 5:3
“They do not direct their deeds Toward turning to their God, For the spirit of harlotry is in their midst, And they do not know the Lord. Hosea 5:4
The pride of Israel testifies to his face; Therefore Israel and Ephraim stumble in their iniquity; Judah also stumbles with them. Hosea 5:5
I will return again to My place Till they acknowledge their offense. Then they will seek My face;
In their affliction they will earnestly seek Me.” Hosea 5:15
As I share with you this morning I share according to His leading, and His leading alone.
I will not share anything that He does not permit me to.
Before The Lord revealed to me this particular scripture, to share this morning.
He told me that I would need to share my testimony.
I told Him that I have already written it down, and that it is so long should I really share through twitter or just through my blog?
I told Him to lead me to a Word that would confirm what He just said and then He led me to that scripture.
So I knew that that’s what The Lord wanted to address this morning exposing the spirit of sin, specifically the spirit of lust.
For many years I struggled with the spirit of lust.
I struggled with this spirit from as long as I can even remember.
Like Ephraim and Israel I hid my sin, I tried to hide my sin from God, from family, and friends.
I was unable to overcome the sexual desire of masturbation, which later grew into a pornography addiction.
Being young and female I fought this battle alone.
I believed I was the only one going through this, and I did not want anyone to know.
I tried to fight this battle alone but being a growing Christian I had no idea how to.
I fought according to my own strength which always led me to a dead end.
I cannot vividly remember how this spirit came upon me but it stuck with me for a very long time.
I would feel sexually aroused and as a child I obviously had no idea of what spiritual attacks were.
I grew up in the Catholic Church so I cannot remember hearing much messages on this.
I accepted this spirit, I accepted it because it felt good, and it became apart of me, apart of my childhood.
Masturbation is the topic that the church does not so often talk about.
Masturbation is a topic that I longed to hear being discussed in the church because I felt that I was the only one, the only female, the only child, who was going through this, I felt abnormal.
Yes honestly I felt abnormal, why couldn’t I be like every other kid?
I couldn’t imagine any other kid having to go through this, I wished I went through something else, I wished my battle was different.
Even as a child I loved The Lord and even though I did not know the name of what I was doing until I was around eleven or twelve years old,
I knew it was wrong because I hid this sin for many years, I hid it and covered it up.
It was almost like my baby, I gave birth to sin and I protected it from being exposed.
Though I hid this sin and covered it up it is not until I started attending a Pentecostal church, that I began to feel guilty of secretly committing this sin.
I tried to break away from sin,
but I was still enslaved to sin.
My relationship with God grew but I still was unable to break free from this addiction.
The enemy made me believe for a long time that I could not break free from his chains,
satan made me believe for a long time that I could try but I would end up being back in the same place again.
satan often deceived me into believing that my sin was ‘ok’,
that I could just play with repentance, and go back to sin after all ‘God understands’,
but just because ‘God understands’ does not mean it’s ‘ok’ to sin, and just because God understands does not mean it’s ok to stay in sin.
Just because He loves us does not mean we are supposed to stay sin.
God Loves Righteousness and not sin.
Do not be deceived by the outward appearance of sin,it may seem pleasing to the eye but really sin is like a snake, it bites, poisons and kills.
I played this game of ‘sin, repent, God understands’ for a long time and I only ended up digging myself into a deeper hole of addiction.
I tried with my own strength it did not work.
I confided in people who had gone or were still going through the same thing as me.
At the time I thought that masturbation was something that men mostly did, so I still thought I must have been the only female in the world committing this sin lol so I was still discouraged, and I thought I was abnormal.
After all I had never heard any female sharing their testimonies on masturbation.
Until to my surprise I met a lady on this forum from across the pond who was going through the same thing.
It was just encouraging to know that I was not the only female in the world struggling with masturbation.
At the age of fourteen I told this lady that I would write a book on this to encourage people who have struggled with this sin.
I had not even overcome this sin yet but I told her that I would write a book.
I continued to confide in this lady, however she had not overcome this sin either, and as a growing Christian I really longed to hear from someone who had overcome this battle.
satan had a strong hold on me, and I had the urge to continue sinning.
I fed the flesh so much with this sin, that I weakened the Holy Spirit within me, I grieved the Holy Spirit.
The more I tasted sin the more I hurt the Holy Spirit and I hurt myself.
The Holy Spirit hates sin and cannot live within it.
So when I tried to overcome my flesh, I couldn’t because I was not feeding the Holy Spirit.
I did not know The Word of God as much as I do now, I was perishing for lack of knowledge, His Spirit was not being strengthened within me.
I had not really tasted The Word of God, so I did not know of His goodness.
I just kept tasting sin I kept being deceived into believing that sin tastes good when really it never did satisfy, and always left me hungering for more.
God never lets His children go hungry nor begging for bread.
I have been young, and now am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, Nor his descendants begging bread. Psalms 37:25
The lord will not let the godly go hungry, but he refuses to satisfy the craving of the wicked. Proverbs 10:3
He fills the emptiness.
He overcomes darkness with His light.
He restores, He revives, and He refreshes.
I wanted others to share their testimonies on this to encourage me yet I did not want to share my own encounter.
I became frustrated and sometimes I would just want to give up.
What was the point I thought to myself.
I’m really trying, I really want to break free, why me, why me? I kept asking myself, feeling self pity for myself anytime I would end back in the same place of hopelessness.
The problem was I didn’t really want to give up on this sin, I just wasn’t ready.
It was going to take more than just simply trying with my own strength.
It was going to take fasting, praying, and guarding my heart.
So I tried prayer and fasting, and guarding my heart, guarding my eyes, guarding my ears, and the enemy left me alone for a while,
but then he would come to strike me with his sword of sin again.
Anytime I was left alone, anytime I was bored, anytime I felt like just a bit of fun, satan would sow seeds of sin into my heart, my mind, and spirit. satan would place these lustful seeds into me and I’d wake up feeling like something strange had taken place, like he had just abused me.
Yes I am a virgin but the enemy had tried to take away my innocence spiritually.
Sometimes I would just fall asleep during the day, and then feel aroused, wake up and wonder what on earth had taken place.
This began to happen when I became serious with sharing God’s Word, praying, and fasting.
So why was I still being attacked?
What more did I need to do?
The enemy began to try different things when I became adamant on sharing The Word of God.
satan knew that this was the will of God for my life and he did try to destroy it.
I wasn’t committing this sin as much as when I was as a kid and in my early teenage years, and this frustrated satan.
So he really did try to distract me with the spirit of lust, he really did try to cause me to fail, but it did not work because no weapon formed against me shall prosper!
satan tried to poison my mind with all sorts of poisonous lustful garbage, he tried to deceive me into being what he wanted me to be,
so that I would not be the woman that God is using today, a mighty vessel for His glory.
Oh how the enemy has tried but oh how he has failed.
I battled with this spirit at the age of six/seven, and completely overcame this battle at the end of last year 2013.
Believe me when I say that if God almighty could do it for me, He can most certainly do it for you.
For nothing, absolutely nothing is too difficult for Him!
I am free!
He has taken away my shame and pain, I am no longer guilty!
I refuse to turn back, I share this message with you with no condemnation.
His Word delivered me.
For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Hebrews 4:12
His Word encouraged me, His Word empowered me to share to overcome this battle and share this testimony with you!
Someone might ask why did it take me so long to share?
Well the truth is I really wanted to.
The Lord convicted me to share in April when He shared His messages through me on The Cup of Suffering, and Sacrificial Service.
So I shared with my family in May, and it really wasn’t easy but I just had to.
I had the intention of sharing with you straight after I had shared with them but I was told not to for now.
But I couldn’t hold on to this any longer, and as the Holy Spirit prompted me this morning I just had to obey and share.
He is mighty to save, and I am more than a conqueror.
Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. Romans 8:37
Because I am more than a conqueror I continue to use the weapons of warfare that God has given me to use against the works of the enemy!
I can identify with who my enemy is, I know my enemy is the spirit of lust and so I literally flee from temptation,
I guard my heart from those lustful based relationships, I guard my mind from lustful imaginations,
I guard my tongue from lustful conversations, I guard my ears from listening to lustful conversations or music, I guard my eyes from lustful images, and films.I rebuke anything that the enemy tries to place into my very being.
I am not ignorant, I know that I am in the world and satan is the prince of this world.
I know that the media is controlled by the evil works of satan, but I refuse to give in to temptation.
Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. Matthew 4:1
And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterward He was hungry. Matthew 4:2
Now when the tempter came to Him, he said, “If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.” Matthew 4:3
But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’ ” Matthew 4:4
Then the devil took Him up into the holy city, set Him on the pinnacle of the temple, Matthew 4:5
and said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down. For it is written: ‘He shall give His angels charge over you,’ and, ‘In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone.’ ” Matthew 4:6
Jesus said to him, “It is written again, ‘You shall not tempt the Lord your God.’ ” Matthew 4:7
Again, the devil took Him up on an exceedingly high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. Matthew 4:8
And he said to Him, “All these things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me.” Matthew 4:9
Then Jesus said to him, “Away with you, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.’ ” Matthew 4:10
Then the devil left Him, and behold, angels came and ministered to Him. Matthew 4:11
satan can try to tempt me like he did when he tried to tempt Jesus but because of the very Word of God I know that satan has no power over me and it is by The very Word of God, fasting, prayer, and the guarding of my heart that I use to destroy the works of the enemy.
satan comes at your weakest point.
I know his tricks, you must know your enemy.
satan uses the same old tricks over and over again.
I refuse to be used by him, I refuse to be a fool for satan.
So satan can try like he always used to but I am no longer afraid, for he will continue to fail.
satan cannot deceive this woman of God any longer.
Once you resist the temptations of satan, once you overcome sin, you will be able to walk in what The Lord has called you to do!
Jesus began his Galilean ministry once He had resisted and overcome the temptations of satan.
The people who sat in darkness have seen a great light, And upon those who sat in the region and shadow of death Light has dawned.” Matthew 4:16
From that time Jesus began to preach and to say, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” Matthew 4:17
For those that go into debates about masturbation and pornography not being a sin.
I refuse to go into such debates.
I know and believe that masturbation and pornography are sins.
Lust is sin.
Sex before marriage is sin with or without a partner.
Lusting after another man or woman Jesus states as His new commandment as sin and equally the same as committing adultery.
I encourage you to share what you are going through with a brother or sister rooted in Christ.
Do not and I repeat do not share what you are going through with just anyone.
If you cannot find anyone that is rooted in Christ to share what you are going through with then just go to the Father.
God is the best person to Man to confide in anyway.
All you need to do is be open with Him.
A problem shared is a problem halved.
One chases thousands but two chases tens of thousands there is power in unity.
I guess what I really want to get out of this the most is for Christians to be honest with each other.
For Christians to open up to one another.
For Christians to encourage one another, not to criticise, mock, or be scornful, no that is of a religious nature.
We must begin to follow the nature of Christ He is love.
Jesus never condemns, but always convicts.
He convicts us to change to become more like Him, not more like the world, becoming more like the world is of satan.
Jesus says come as you are but you cannot stay as you are.
I encourage Christians to share their testimonies or encounters more often, you just don’t know how many people will be saved, healed, and delivered, through YOUR testimonies.
I was encouraged through His very Word, and He spoke through people to get me to share my testimony, and I just had to do it, I just had to trust and obey Him simply because it is His will.
Feel free to share with me your experiences, feel free to ask for prayers, but what I really desire and I believe is God’s heart desire is for Christians to be openly honest, and to share from both the old and the new testament of their lives.
‘Grace concealed in the Old Testament is revealed in the New Testament.’
I guess that’s why I have such a passion for both the Old and the New Testament.
If it was not for the old I would not have travelled into the new.
‘This grace hid itself under a veil in the Old Testament but has been revealed in the New.’
According to the perfectly predestined will of God.
Jesus tore the veil, He made a way, when He said that It Is Finished, It Is Done.
Oh how I love Jesus because He first loved me.
There is now no condemnation because old things have passed away and have become new!
Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him thus no longer.
II Corinthians 5:16
I shared this with you according to His will, I live in His story and with Him I am able to complete every chapter. Amen, and God bless you.😊❤️🙌